Funny Sayings
Friday, 8 June 2012| 14:27 |
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♥ Reasons why I'm fat 1) I eat a lot when get bored 2) I'm bored all the time.
♥ Rule #1: I'm always right
Rule #2: If I'm ever wrong,
please see rule #1
♥ I cant play stupid with you, you're too good at it.
♥ Let's discuss right and left. You're RIGHT. I LEFT.
♥ The doctor tells me I'm crazy, but the voices tell me I'm not. and i just don't know which one to believe :D
♥ I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to tell you how I really feel .
♥ Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have \m/
♥ I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
# Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
♥ I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
♥ Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
♥ People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
♥ when u feel sad, to cheer up, just go to the mirror and say,"damn i am soooooooo cute", u will overcome ur sadnessbut don't make it habit.. coz liars go to hell..... =D
♥ i thought a thought that i thought i had thought but the thought that i had thought wasnt the thought that i had thought i had thought so maybe if i had thought the thought that i thought i thought i wouldn't of thought so much.
♥ I hate mosquitoes!!! I mean, I know I'm delicious but damn...
♥ I tried to send you something sweet but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.
♥ You called me cute. You called me funny. You joke with me. You remember what I tell you.
But. You say the same thing to all the others. Thanks, I feel so special. hahaha
♥You: *Takes a book and smacks friend on the face*
Friend: What the hell was that for?
You: I facebooked you..
♥ Mαths questions αre so stupid.
They're like: "If I hαve 10 chocolαtes αnd I eαt 9, whαt do I hαve now?"
Oh I don't know, Diαbetes mαybe?
♥ It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
♥ Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
♥ I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
♥What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I STARE, I SMILE, AND WHEN I GET TIRED...I PUT THE MIRROR DOWN
♥ i'm one of those people that laughs at a joke 3 TIMES:
>>ONCE when it's told to me
>>ONCE when it's explained to me
and
>>ONCE 5 minutes later when i finally understand it
♥If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
♥There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.
♥There are two words guys hate: Don't and Stop...Unless those words are spoken together.
♥Ever noticed how all women's problems begin with men?
MENtal illness....MENstrual cramps... MENtal breakdown... MENopause... GUYnocologist !
♥My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Mental Problems.
♥I called your boyfriend gay...and he hit me with his purse.
♥TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
♥TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
♥TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
♥TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
♥TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
♥TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
♥TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
♥TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
♥TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
♥TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
♥TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
♥There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting
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