Ejie Najihah


LandOwner

This blog tells you nothing except the story of an ordinary girl's life. Oh ya! This blog contained quotes and short stories as well

Funny Sayings



Friday 8 June 2012 | 14:27 | 0 ?
Reasons why I'm fat 1) I eat a lot when get bored 2) I'm bored all the time.

Rule #1: I'm always right

Rule #2: If I'm ever wrong,
please see rule #1

I cant play stupid with you, you're too good at it.

Let's discuss right and left. You're RIGHT. I LEFT.

The doctor tells me I'm crazy, but the voices tell me I'm not. and i just don't know which one to believe :D

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to tell you how I really feel .

Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have \m/

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

# Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

when u feel sad, to cheer up, just go to the mirror and say,"damn i am soooooooo cute", u will overcome ur sadnessbut don't make it habit.. coz liars go to hell..... =D

i thought a thought that i thought i had thought but the thought that i had thought wasnt the thought that i had thought i had thought so maybe if i had thought the thought that i thought i thought i wouldn't of thought so much.

I hate mosquitoes!!! I mean, I know I'm delicious but damn...
I tried to send you something sweet but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.

You called me cute. You called me funny. You joke with me. You remember what I tell you.
But. You say the same thing to all the others. Thanks, I feel so special. hahaha

You: *Takes a book and smacks friend on the face*
Friend: What the hell was that for?
You: I facebooked you..

Mαths questions αre so stupid. 
They're like: "If I hαve 10 chocolαtes αnd I eαt 9, whαt do I hαve now?"
Oh I don't know, Diαbetes mαybe?

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

 

What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I STARE, I SMILE, AND WHEN I GET TIRED...I PUT THE MIRROR DOWN


i'm one of those people that laughs at a joke 3 TIMES:
>>ONCE when it's told to me
>>ONCE when it's explained to me
and 
>>ONCE 5 minutes later when i finally understand it


If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.


There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions.


There are two words guys hate: Don't and Stop...Unless those words are spoken together.


Ever noticed how all women's problems begin with men?
MENtal illness....MENstrual cramps... MENtal breakdown... MENopause... GUYnocologist !


My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Mental Problems.


I called your boyfriend gay...and he hit me with his purse.


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


♥TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' 


TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. 


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting





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